Using Trauma To Help Shape Calm In Motherhood & Breastfeeding
Brisbane’s registered nurse and wellness influencer Alice Bingham reflects on the traumatic birth of her third baby, and how it’s shaped how she’s preparing for her fourth child in a year where nothing’s gone to plan. Alice also shares her tips to help other pregnant and breastfeeding mums ensure a positive and calm start to motherhood in 2020 and beyond.
Just under two years ago, I had a wild experience with my third birth.
I went between three hospitals in just one day.
I had an ambulance with sirens, a 20hr breach labour which then transitioned to an emergency c- section under general anaesthetic and welcomed our baby girl at just 35 weeks.
All while having heart symptoms going on and a possible Pulmonary Embolism.
I ended up spending the week in hospital with heart monitors on myself and tests run all week, all while trying to care for our newest addition who had a few health things going on herself with being a premmie.
It was quite the experience, one that I will never forget.
When I look at my happy little 21-month old now, I pinch myself that we are both okay and doing well.
In fact, we are expecting our fourth child in February 2021.
This has had me reflect a lot on my experience with birth and breastfeeding my third baby in 2019 - how can I use this to prepare myself and my baby for a beautiful breastfeeding experience after a year where nothing’s gone to plan?
A reminder to embrace the chaos with presence
The first 12- weeks of any newborn’s life can be a bit of a blur for any mum. And mine was no different.
I had two little ones to care for, and was also recovering from a c-section and a feeding schedule for our premmie baby.
I was given the Medela Symphony pump immediately and was told to pump a minimum of eight times in 24 hours.
So, I was very grateful for the Medela double breast pump in the hospital as it was fast and efficient, which I needed as the feeding routine was extremely exhausting for me.
On day three, my daughter’s blood sugar level remained low. I asked to speak to a Lactation Consultant and a Paediatrician to see if a different feeding routine would help her blood sugar levels stabilise.
Our current schedule of 10 minutes on the boob topped up with expressed breast milk, then pumping again wasn’t working.
The team and I decided to change her feeding schedule to give her expressed breastmilk (EBM), then 5 minutes on the boob and then double pumping again for top-ups.
I would also set alarms for breastfeeding and alarms for pumping using my Medela Harmony breast pump.
The beauty of pumping was it made me sit down, which is essential for recovery.
My two children, then 3.5 years and 18 months, would also come and sit with me or play on the floor near me.
Some days they would all be crying at once; I just had to take a deep breath and remind myself I was doing my best.
The days were long, but the weeks would fly by, it was all a bit of beautiful chaos.
The most important lesson I’ve learnt with motherhood and breastfeeding is embracing the chaos, with mindfulness and presence.
For any other mum or mum-to-be who may be finding motherhood and breastfeeding difficult – I hear you.
But if you can take time to find your breath and come back to this moment, it’s one of the most powerful ways to find strength, peace and joy in these moments of chaos.
I found great comfort in journaling too. A simple way to practice gratitude and reflect on the day.
Plus, my journal is filled with many raw and wonderful memories of those postnatal days. I often look back on these pages to see how far I have come.
Lean on your support army wherever and however you can
The year 2020 has brought some great uncertainly for a lot of us in the Australian community, with restrictions and lock downs.
Postnatal after our third child, we required a lot of appointments once we left the hospital.
We ended up seeing lactation consultants, had daily weigh-ins at the hospital, saw midwifes and child health nurse practitioners for the first 12 weeks of our little girls' life.
This had me thinking after everything happening right now, would we receive the same support if we required that care again with this child?
During this pregnancy I haven’t been allowed to have my children at antenatal appointments or my husband at the scans or appointments.
I also had to have emergency surgery a few months ago when pregnant, we were given some news that meant our baby may have not made it, I would have loved to have had my husband there with me, but due to COVID-19 restrictions, he was not allowed at the hospital with me.
So, I had to take the news by myself and just chat to my husband over the phone during my hospital stay.
Thankfully, this baby is still doing well though post-surgery and as I write this, I am 26 weeks and filled with gratitude.
There have been some positives though, during this pregnancy, I have been lucky enough to have the support of my own midwife.
She has been able to come to our home for visits for my check-ups, if I have my other young children at home.
Plus, David can be here as well.
I have seen some great improvises from our local hospital and the staff doing their best to support families and the post-natal care they provide for them.
Now thankfully with restrictions easing, I feel a lot more positive about having our fourth child next year.
Wherever you can – call on your support networks – from experts and loved ones.
But if you are having trouble – telehealth is a great avenue to find support from a lactation consultant.
Or engage in online communities where you can find and talk to likeminded mums.
Rely on breastfeeding aids if you need it
Next time I hope to give the brand new Medela Harmony breast pump a go.
I think having this will give me the freedom to pop out a little more in the earlier days to my close friends and families houses. Or even to pop in the car and drive to the waterfront. Pumping with a view is oh so blissful!
The Harmony Manual Breast Pump is light, compact and portable making it easy to pop into your nappy bag and go.
Being on a time schedule with breastfeeding a premmie can be challenging if you need to be back home all the time to do it.
I think this will allow me some more freedom. I am highly impressed with the 2-Phase Expression technology as it can mimic your baby’s natural suckling rhythm, which is ideal for going from baby and then to pump for your breasts.
I think this pump will make my life a little easier, with four children in five years, I am up for anything that will guide that!
So, as a final prompt to myself and other pregnant and breastfeeding mums today, in this extra time of change – take life slower, more mindful and be kind to ourselves – and always call on help when need it.
Together, we’ve got this – and whatever life throws our way.
ABOUT Alice Bingham
Alice Bingham AKA @aliceinhealthyland is passionate about sharing and exploring her version of Healthyland with her beautiful tribe of goddesses (followers) over on Instagram and her health and wellness blog. Alice has three beautiful children. Cruz who is Four, Winter Rose who is Three, Lottie who is One and is expecting her fourth child in February 2021. Alice is a Registered Nurse who has spent the last 10 years of her career specialising in a variety of women’s heal services, special care, perioperative nursing and day procedures.